I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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