1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
