WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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