I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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