I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize