The maid of honor just puked.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
