new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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