question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
