Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
The Olympian is in my bed
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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