Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
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