Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
