they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
