I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Randomize
