Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
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My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
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You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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