It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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