dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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