I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
