my soul wont recognize me after tonight
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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