You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
