She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm always down for nudity.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
