and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
this just has baby written all over it
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
