Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
