I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
