On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
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Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
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Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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