i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
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