Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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