I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
