i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
