anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
