my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize