found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
