I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
