I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
