Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
