He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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