So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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