respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
