dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
