oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
