Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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