The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
