just come out here and I will go home with you...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
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