dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
