Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
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Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
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My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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