He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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