omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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