I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize