Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
