but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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