I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My vagina is very pro this idea
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
