wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
