Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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