Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
