My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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