Small penises have feelings too.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
