I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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