then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
