there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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