I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
