i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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