You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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