false alarm. still invincible.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize