can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
