Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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